Things fall apart

Maybe not so spectacularly by some measures, but I think this was the morning I hit bottom on everything.  I woke up from a dream, the details of which are lost, but which featured the graduating seniors walking away from some other people and me, their faces becoming blurs, waving happily goodbye as we called to them to wait a minute.

Seriously.  Could there be a more clichéd dream?

Bestfriend was over, and she and the Snork Maiden were sleeping in the back room where my desk is, so I didn’t write Morning Pages right away–I lay in bed for a while and listened to the incomprehensible plot of the play Stubb saw last night, and got up and made coffee and was crabby with everyone.

Then, at about nine, I decided it was too hot and sunny to run (I like to run early), and I ate a meal which I would characterize as a sensible breakfast followed by about two days’ worth of random snacking (I blame having bought Trader Joe’s “Handfuls of Breakfast” trail mix–I had a packet of that and then everything went downhill).  Then I glumly perused Facebook and the New York Times online and some of the other things I usually read, feeling utterly stagnant and useless.

Finally, at ten-forty, it occurred to me to just write the damn Morning Pages, and that seemed to get me going in a better direction: I did some straightening up, read something worthwhile, and felt like I was back in the saddle of the day.  Somewhat.

Funny thing is that yesterday was a pretty active day–writing, exercise, errands.  I ran an errand for Dr. Tea, which involved a trip to see another teacher who just had an operation (yay, summer vacation, it’s elective surgery time) and an unexpected but very nice lunch with that teacher.  I might have considered myself well launched into summer mode except for this morning’s collapse.

Now I’ve got to do some bits and pieces, and then I have, hooray, a massage.  And then taking dinner to the family of someone else in the SA community who has been very ill since April, but who is, thankfully, recovering.  So many people signed up to do this (via TakeThemAMeal.com–very useful site) that even though I went to the website the same day I heard, today was the first day that was available to sign up for.  As I keep telling the Snork Maiden, the only good thing about this kind of bad thing is that you get so many opportunities to be reminded of how much people care about one another, how willing they are to help when someone’s in need.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Pym Fan on June 12, 2014 at 10:43 pm

    Seems to me you’re due for some falling apart. Go ahead. Collapse. Be crabby. You routinely keep it together for longer at a stretch than anyone else I know. Surely you’ve earned some crumple time. That said, falling apart isn’t much fun, so I hope you’re feeling better by now… 🙂

    Reply

  2. I’m with Pym Fan. I think that the start of summer pretty much demands a crapazola day or two as we make the transition. Hope today has been better!

    Reply

  3. Posted by meansomething on June 16, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    Thanks, friends!

    Reply

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