Breathing lessons

I used this title years ago, in very different circumstances, but I think it’s okay to use it again now.

The very best thing in my immediate orbit right now is that Stubb (in conjunction with my mom’s friend Ned) has finished all the major changes he was working on in the Snork Maiden’s room: paint on the walls, carpet up, flooring down, new bed assembled.  So all the belongings that have been stacked in the living room/library area are starting to migrate back into her room.  It will take a few days before that’s all done, of course, but it will feel good to have that finished.

The very worst thing is still Mr. Tea being sick.

A very, very, very distant second to that is that I didn’t get the summer Thing this year, either.  To be honest, I’m feeling rotten about that just now, but I will absorb that disappointment soon enough.  Here are two other true things: One is that I am also a little relieved that I don’t have to go and do it.  The other is that what is making me feel bad, then, is not that I don’t get to do and do the Thing, but that I fear that I will never again get anything as good as some of the other Things I’ve gotten in the past–fellowships, awards, that sort of thing.  Which is, let’s face it, not a reasonable or useful fear.  It could happen, but after all, the point is to have time to write, and to write the things I want to write.  And the summer can be good for that.  This will be my first summer with truly nothing–no teaching, no NLNRU advising.

I am also feeling pretty overwhelmed by school right now.  If you could listen in on my brain it would sound kind of like this: Teaching prepping grading next year’s staffing book orders literary magazine teaching prepping grading coverage emails next year’s books meeting email meeting grading staffing coverage.  (“Coverage” is Dr. Tea’s coverage, which is being provided by me and two other teachers–so I’m back to five classes.)

But: also, three days from now, spring break.  For two weeks.  And if I can get a good night’s sleep tonight, tomorrow will be that much easier to manage.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Pym Fan on March 19, 2014 at 4:23 am

    I’m sorry about the Thing disappointment. But I firmly believe there will be other Things! And hallelujah for your spring break and for an actual summer OFF. And here’s to a good night’s sleep…

    Reply

  2. Posted by Bardiac on March 19, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    I, too, am sorry about the Thing disappointment. You seem just the sort of person who’s ideal for Things of all sorts. And I have hopes that you’ll get other Things. Meanwhile, hold on for break, and let’s wish for Mr. Tea to do as well as possible.

    Reply

  3. Bummer about the thing. And the fact that it obviously doesn’t compare to Mr. Tea’s being sick doesn’t mean that it isn’t a real disappointment worthy of mourning.

    But it sounds like, even sans Thing, this will be a summer of Time, time to write and do other things. Hurrah! I hope that makes it easier to hang on through the rest of this hectic year.

    Reply

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