In dreams begin responsibilities

The Snork Maiden went to a movie yesterday and saw a preview for The Call, a movie about a serial killer, that totally spooked her.  Before bed, she fretted that she was going to have nightmares, and I told her that she probably wouldn’t because she was consciously processing the disturbing images.  Well, she didn’t, but I did–a very upsetting dream in which a number of our SA students were slated to be executed, and I was there with them on a sort of grassy slope, keeping them company before they got up, one by one, and went–through the doors of what looked like a fort–to their doom.  I had the sense they were going to be beheaded, although I didn’t see the place of execution–it was behind the fort doors.

I’m guessing that this is a dream about kids growing up and entering adult life–being cut off from their old lives as children–and my sense of accompanying them to the verge of this change but being unable to really follow or help them.  The events from the weekend’s waking life that seem relevant include spending Friday evening at a student-run performance at school that I found very moving; dropping off the Snork Maiden at a couple of fairly independent activities; and a conversation about a friend’s teenage daughter, who is going through some hard things right now.

Whew.  I also went digging through a closet looking for something today and ended up reading through a bunch of old letters.  I always think I will enjoy reading old letters, but it’s really quite a complicated experience, reviving old feelings and creating new ones having to do with what it feels like to be the person I am now thinking about the person I was then.  The worst part, I guess, was reading some of my own old emails, printed out in the days when my undergraduate email account got wiped over the summer.  (Dot-matrix printer, continuous-form paper with sprocket holes along the edges–I’m old.)

There wasn’t even anything explicitly upsetting in them, really, but now I’m feeling disoriented and upset–not at all the frame of mind I need to be in right now!  It’s Sunday, after all, and I am prone to the Sunday blues.  As usual, too, I have a fair bit of work to do before Monday.  Fortunately, Monday is my light teaching day at SA, which makes it easier to face the late afternoon and evening of NLNRU meetings and class.

So here we go:  I need to complete the following tasks:

  • Write.
  • Grade 14 essays.
  • Prep a class.
  • Do the laundry.
  • Update writing-group [lack of] progress.
  • Tidy up.
  • Walk to the store (getting a wee bit of exercise thereby).

And I need to make progress on the following projects:

  • Student X.
  • Reading for contest.
  • Alumni interview reports A, B, and C.

And if I am in reasonably good shape by 8, I can watch last week’s Downton Abbey (which I never did get around to) and maybe also the new one.

I decree that in the next 100 minutes, I shall:

  • Get the first load of laundry started.
  • Walk to the store.
  • Post my update to the writing group.
  • Grade 3 essays.
  • Start drafting alumni report A.
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2 responses to this post.

  1. Oh dear, that sounds like an upsetting Sunday all around. I hope that equilibrium settles in by evening.

    Reply

    • Posted by meansomething on February 11, 2013 at 2:40 am

      Aw, thanks! We’re actually both in a pretty good frame of mind, considering that it’s Sunday and all.

      Reply

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