The documents in the case

In the alternate universe where the MLA convention features an amateur stand-up night:

Letters of recommendation.  What’re those about?  (Pause for anticipatory laughter.)  Oh, I see.  It’s not enough I had to teach you and read all your papers–which, by the way…(Opens mouth to begin rant, decides it’s not worth it, shuts mouth, shakes head)…now I also have to write a paper about you?  (Pause.) Oh, all right.  When do you need it?  (Pause.)  Ha ha, very funny.  When’s the real due date?  (Pause.)  Oh for the love of…Okay.  Okay.  (Laughter.)

Seriously, folks, amirite?  So!  You’ve moved on to the stage where you’re writing letters for your students.  Surely, at least, that means that you no longer have to subject yourself to the embarrassment of asking people to write letters for you.   (Pause for anticipatory laughter.)  You’re a professor now!  You don’t need any stinkin’ letters!  You write the letters now!  You hold other people’s lives in your hands!  (Evil-genius laugh.)

Oh…wait a minute.  You want to apply for a fellowship to go to a library and read the correspondence of a nineteenth-century writer.  Sorry, you need a letter for that.  (Scattering of guffaws.)  It’s okay, at least you get to go somewhere…glamorous?  (Pause.) Oh, really, the University of Kansas?  Well, I hear Lawrence is very pretty this time of year.

Ah, a writers’ colony!  Sounds great.  You’ll finally finish that novel, and they tiptoe up to your door every day at noon and leave your lunch outside the door.  (Pause.)  All you need to do is fill out this application…and this statement of purpose…and this project description…upload a work sample…and just one more thing…(Pause) Three letters of recommendation.

(Laughter, applause, blackout.)

Yeah, seriously.  Anyway, the good news is that after getting dinged from one colony for next summer, I’ve gotten in one new application (which means two unfortunate folk who now have to send in recs for me) and started another.  I also submitted a big packet of work for a prize and have the new book manuscript out at several presses.  Now I have to pick up my magazine submissions again.  I struck out in 2011, but I approached ten different magazines and got some positive feedback.  I am determined 2012 will be the year the book gets taken, though, so I need to keep sending so that I can place whatever it is I’m going to place.

And something else:  all my grad school recs, college recs, job recs, internship recs are done for this round.  Ha!

Merry Christmas if you celebrate…and a nice peaceful couple of days if you are, like me, enjoying the quiet while other people celebrate around you.


One response to this post.

  1. Good luck with all of your writing plans for the coming year!


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