Archive for July 16th, 2009

Fatal error

I just looked up the website of a foundation from which I won a small fellowship a couple of years ago in order to see who has won them lately.  Big mistake, as my bête noire is one of the recent winners.  I was doing so well since I stopped reading his blog, but now I’m full of resentment again. 

Or maybe it wasn’t such a big mistake.  As I’ve pointed out before, envy is often a great motivator for me.  Also, rereading my post about my bête noire makes me recognize that my own work situation has improved quite a lot, perhaps even to the point where I don’t actually envy him anymore. 

(OK, I still don’t think he deserves the fellowship.  But whatever.)

Answered prayers

I have decided that the solution to life, the universe, and everyhing is Dan Savage’s Savage Love podcast

In May and June, the podcast cheered me up on my two sad, long airplane trips back and forth to Hometown–the first one to see my dying grandmother and the second for her funeral.  I spent a lot of time talking to sad people and being sad myself, and it was just such a refreshment to the spirit to have something basically cheerful and life-affirming to listen to on those long plane rides.

Now I’m slowly, in stages, decluttering and cleaning the house, and listening to podcast episodes, which take my mind off the amount of time I’m spending doing this overwhelming job.  The Snork Maiden is attending day camp for two weeks, and I’m spending the days writing and doing the kind of self-maintenance things that teachers do over the summer if they’re not teaching (I had an eye exam today.  First one since 2003, I think.  Yes, I know that’s too long to go between appointments).  In the evenings, though, I’m tackling the piles.  I can’t believe the piles.  Both Stubb and I have packrat tendencies, and we both generate a lot of paper and are afraid to get rid of it.  It’s appalling, really.  But with Dan Savage in my ear, compassionately and wittily counseling people about sex and relationships, I’m sorting, tossing, dusting, straightening.  (Thanks, Dan.)