A wolverine is eating my leg

As if to remind me that more immediate worries exist, yesterday both my daughter and my car exhibited signs of indisposition.  The Snork Maiden woke up complaining of a malady vague enough that Stubb sent her to school, only to pick her up an hour later.  She had an on-again, off-again tummyache all day, but after what I shall euphemistically refer to as a satisfactory bathroom experience, she seemed to feel much better and fell asleep early.  It remains to be seen whether she’ll go to school today.

The car’s transmission started slipping yesterday, particularly when accelerating from a stop.  Very unnerving.  Also, according to Mechanic Google (office next door to Dr. Google), a common problem for this model and year.  Mechanic Google’s repair estimates, and certainty that the problem can be resolved, vary widely, but as I only took the car in last night, I will have to wait until the actual mechanic calls me. 

I believe Spalding Gray used to call this sort of thing Displacement of Anxiety, as in Swimming to Cambodia, when he leaves his wallet on the beach and goes swimming in the ocean, where he manages to ignore his fear of drowning because he’s preoccupied with his fear that someone would steal his money.

I’m not too worried about the Snork Maiden because she seems to be getting over whatever it was.  I’m somewhat anxious about the car because I rely on it a lot and we don’t have a lot of spare funds at the moment for repairs.  And on a deeper, more serious level, I’m thinking about my grandmother and wishing I could ease her pain over losing her sister-in-law and the other losses in her life, on which she tends to brood.  (That runs in the family–the brooding part.) 

I notice that on the subject of the car, I’m doing what I also tend to do about the Snork Maiden’s illnesses (not that they are, thank God, many or serious), which is to privately obsess over worst-case scenarios as a superstitious defense.  Sometimes it seems to work, which only feeds the behavior, of course.

The only thing I can think of that I can productively do today is not drink quite so much coffee.  I don’t need any help staying on edge.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by hypatia cade on March 17, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    I play a mental game that I privately call “the worst” as in what’s the worst case scenario. And then I plan how I’ll deal with that. Since things are very rarely the wrost, I end up okay and I have a game plan that usually encompasses what actually happens. (This is a bit obsessive so I’m not sure I recommend it as a life strategy, but I’m trying to say that I get it).


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