The fermata

This week-and-a-bit is the part I probably won’t remember later on: the part where I hurry to catch up on everything I got behind on while I was away, and hurry to get ahead so that I can go away again.  I realize that you all have plenty of things of your own to do, and may not be entertained by a long recitation of all the things I have to do.  But can I just say: there’s teaching.  And grading–oh, lots of grading.  There’s writing.  There’s a meeting with my dissertation director.  There’s family stuff.  And there’s a job interview.  Okay?  And Stubb is having a heavy week as well–not to mention that he did almost all of the day-to-day kid stuff last week and will do it all while I am away. 

The strain of this week will disappear when it’s done, though.  I won’t really remember it afterwards.  I’ll remember the idea of it, but not how anxious I felt, how frustrated and burdened and overloaded.  I might even look back, during a slower period, and think how lucky I was to have all that going on.  For example, this next event I’m headed to–I’ve applied for that in the past and not gotten in.  I’m going, so I’m feeling stressed about getting ready to go, but if I weren’t going, I would probably be sulking about it. 

Part of my mood is probably just that conference #1 is a very tiring one.  I have lots of responsibilities during it, and have to interact with a lot of people.  It’s very enjoyable, and it all went tremendously well this year.  But it’s normal for me to be tired and out of sorts afterwards, and in years when I am not teaching in the summer, it’s usually a lost week afterwards.  I can’t afford that this week, but there’s clearly going to be some fallout.  And early bedtimes. 

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One response to this post.

  1. […] spot of bother Last summer, while passing through a particularly busy and difficult time, I mused that the pain of it would disappear once it was over, never to be properly remembered–but actually, here in a different chaotic moment, I find I […]

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